The Friendzone

Today I want to talk about the dreaded "friendzone" guys, listen up. This is specifically a male friendzone advice, from a woman who wants to see the good guys finnish first.



I have had friends over the years complaining of this problem, recent furstrations of seeing good guys suffer through this has inspired me to do a little coaching on the topic. Now we always hear that girls love jerks, and nice guys always finish last.

Why? Why do girls love the jerks.

Now I am no expert, but I am a female who talks to lots of her girlfriends on the topic. The biggest feedback I am hearing on why we keep going back to the bad boys, when Mr. Right is patiently waiting for us so sweet on the side. Is the fact that we want a man who is more of a man than we are. Expecially if you lads are lucky enough to find a strong independent woman.

This independent woman won't need you, you should be an enhancement to her life. If you find yourself being the "yes man" then you will also soon find yourself in the friendzone.

So more on this whole a man who is more of a man than me. This basically means that I, the woman, can take care of myself. If she is taking care of herself just fine, then why would she want to take care of you too?

Wait what? She isn't taking care of me!

Oh yes she is. Women are very nurturing creatures. We might find a guy with great qualities and decide to keep him in our lives for one reason or another. He is attractive and fun, but we still don't click.

Because the woman will feel responsible for every insecurity, every emotional problem, and every weakness. Long term this is a great quality, because she will discover you achilis heel sooner or later. If she has fallen for you then these weaknesses will make you apper more human to her. It gives her that feeling of trust, that you trust her enough to not shoot the arrow into your heal.

But in the beginning it is all about her! Maybe I am old fashioned, but courtship should be a mans choice to pursue, and the womans choice to accept pursuit. If she is being courted by several men, she will gravitate towards the one with confidence and strength. Both physical and mental.

The man with too much weakness will be written off as uncapable of enhancing her life and uncapbable of the protection that she cannot provide herself.

So be confident, and don't be afraid to flaunt your tallents a bit. Impress her with your passion, your wit, your grounding presance. Whatever skills and talents you know you posess you must display in one form or another to avoid being seen as weaker to the competition.

Take some time to journal your strength, go read some books and start yourself on the path of self improvement before pursuing your next fling.

In the meantime, one of my favorite speakers Elliott Hulse hits the nail on the head. And talks about how to get yourself OUT OF THE FRIENDZONE if you are already stuck.