If you are unable to identify your needs and how they can be filled. Then you have no business being in a relationship. It is not your partners job to discover your needs and fill them. You must be able to undersand yourself, clearly communicate your needs, and be honest with your partner.
Emotional needs are things like being complimented, feeling needed, feeling a mutual passion, and dependability, among other parts. If you cannot connect with your partner emotionally, then you feel like you don't know them. Its that feeling of having a stranger in the room. One feeling you might get is not feeling like your partner needs you. They like you but they don't need you. Then tell them, be open and honest, and come up with things you can do to become more of an asset to the relationship.
Physical needs, for some this is a bigger need than others. I higly recomend "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.
These are the needs like hugs, kissing, tenderness, and other nonverbal communication. Chapman explains how each person has a stronger way of expressing and recieving love than others. From my personal testimony being a person who recives love through touch. Showing your partner you love them even while having tough discussions or even arguments can be made easier if you reach out and hold their hand. Expecially if you partner is feeling attacked, or scared. Touch can cool anxiety and temper very quickly when done properly.
Spiritual needs, perhaps one of the deepest needs, as well as the most ignored. It's just fine to fall in love with someone. But when it comes down to forever, it just makes your relationship so much easier if you believe the same things and you know you are going to the same place. When dating be cautious, it is much easier to recognize incompatability early on and break it off before becoming attached.
Social needs in life can be filled with friends early on in college. But the more exclusive we become with someone then we tend to shut others out. Its important for couples to keep going out with friends, both individual and together. Being able to support and understand your partners behaviors in social settings. For example, if your partner has a certain social fear or has had certian trauma in their life. Making sure you stay close by them or sending strong signals of support. We are social creatures, we have a need to interact. So don't be that couple who stays home all the time. Get some friends and create relationships as a couple with others.
Finally security. This one is extremly deep and important. Fights about money, childerens education, work, home, commute, time spent apart, and so many more can all boil down to this. You and your partner want to feel loved and supported. Any time you do something to make your partner feel insecure in any way then you are damaging your relationship as a whole.
If you can follow these five simple principals and show some HONESTY, RESPECT, and expecially VOUNERABILITY in your relationship. It will flourish.
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