Life has been very up and down for me to say the least these past few months. I struggled with a job that took up about 50 hrs a week. Tried to juggle in 15 hrs of college a week and 15 hrs of yoga teacher training a week. Along with financial stress, relationship stress, friend drama, sickness in the family, moving, and that feeling of being completely out of control.
This was not healthy. I realized that if I am trying to preach a healthy life and make a difference for others. I have to start with myself... again.
I am not a great author, I know I spell things wrong and put in grammar incorrectly at times. But the next part of this post is going to be deeply personal and from the heart.
In the summer of 2010 I became very sick. At first I thought I would just keep working through it and toughen it out. (This is the american way) From May until July I suffered with body aches, a cough, sore throat, fatigue, fogginess, bruising, pain, stuffed sinuses and anxiety. Finally I did something for it, I started taking day quill to make me feel better during the day and nyquill to help me sleep. One day I noticed large callouses inside my throat making it almost impossible for me to swallow. I went to my mom crying because I finally had been broken down by this illness.
Into the doctor I went to find out I had very advanced mono. By now it was mid August and I had done nothing (not even enough sleep a night) to aid my body in fighting Mononucleosis. At this point my spleen was swollen, I could not swallow anything larger than a teaspoon worth of fluid at a time, and I was in so much physical pain it hurt to walk from the car to the office. It even hurt to sit down in a chair to wait for the doctor. My throat was rotting, you could smell it on my breath, even though I was still brushing my teeth. The doctor put me on steroids and painkillers, and advised me to take a break from work. I had been working 40 hour weeks even this worsening condition.
So I took a step back, I spend all my time sleeping. If I wasn't asleep I would wake up and eat, or play computer games. (I actually played through the entire Starcraft campaign during this time) So I didn't notice the weight gain. Finally I was starting to work again, time to put on my lifeguard manager swimsuit and.... OH, it is much tighter now. For the first time in my life I realized that I too could gain weight.
So into the gym I went, I kicked by butt in cycle classes trying to maintain the same intensity and pace as the others around me. Forgetting that I was still recovering I pushed myself to my limits. Until one night I ended up in the ER. At first they though it was my appendix, ready to burst and fill me with poison. This is how bad I must have looked. My stomach was extremely distended and banding. (Kind of like when you blow up a balloon too big and it gets the firm lines) I was given morphine and a cat scan right away that revealed that it was not my appendix. But my liver and gallbladder were damaged from the mono.
More pain killers, more downtime, more food, more weight gain. This time I recovered in about three weeks. Back to the gym, cycle, strike, kickboxing, swimming, and running. One day I was taking a cycle class from an instructor I loved and I felt so tired that I had to leave. I went home and the coughing started up that evening. I was tired again and felt like I couldn't catch my breath.
ER again, this time its pneunomia. Another chunk of my life to recover.. What was I doing wrong? Why was I still getting sick? The answer, in a nutshell, was my state of mind. I was not being kind to my body. I was anxious, depressed, and angry at myself. Why? I should not have been, but I was.
So I learned how to be kind, and I slowly started to get my body back, one day at a time. I thought my little success story would be me fighting my way out of it and doing a Triathlon. I did my sprint tri (750 swim, 18 mile bike, and a 5k run) I even ended up finishing 3rd place in my age group! This was huge for me, I was so happy I thought I finally had reached that AH HA moment.
Fast forward to the present. Now gaining weight again, working, stressing, and pushing too much. Too little sleep and loving for myself. I wanted to share this story above with you to show that I am a real person with real struggles and its not over. Never trust a trainer with health advice if they are not living a healthy life themselves. And it is HARD HARD work ill tell you that. But you must make a decision if you want it. No matter the cost, if you want to be healthy and have those around you healthy, you must decide to do it.
Now what does this mean for me? Well I am on leave from my full time job. Working for the Healthy Way of Life Company they understand that I must be healthy in order to make others healthy. So im taking time off to get myself in order.
Im asking my followers and future followers to stay tuned for my future posts. I am going to start my journey again. This time not cutting corners or having and "end goal" I will have goals and milestones. But I will not reach the finish line till im dead. Starting July 1st I will begin a 30 day intensive transformation on my blog and on facebook. I have a group that I have created that I encourage you to participate in. For me this is not going to be easy to admit as a personal trainer that I still struggle with the same problems that the mortals do. But I do! I love nachos, burgers, cheese fries, and dips just like the rest of us. I am going to discover what really works for me. And I hope you share what works for you too.
https://www.facebook.com/Trainwithheidi
https://www.facebook.com/groups/160862617371791/
